What the Fae? has been sadly neglected recently. Oh, there is a reason (there are always reasons, even bad ones)… one that after everything was said and done fills me with joy. But it was a journey to get to that feeling today as dawn breaks.
We’ve purchased our first home… well, the mortgage company and us. 🙂 Yet as long as those monthly payments are made (on time), this is our home now. I cannot truly describe the freedom (and responsibility) that has settled upon me this past month since moving in. Awe, certainly knowing that this is mine, I make the decisions here (along with my co-owner) but they are still our agreed-upon choices and not the whim of a landlord who decides to ruin a lovely view of the woods where a herd of deer wanders through daily with 14 apple trees as he builds an orchard on “his” property. That was the final straw for us. The decision wasn’t easy but it was necessary and thankfully everything worked out in the end. (but what a journey the road to homeownership truly is)
The feelings of peace and joy within the chaos of moving in are indescribable. Boxes are still scattered everywhere, some taped shut, others half empty, still more awaiting recycling day… but it’s my chaos, that’s the difference. Kind of like life actually.
I was amazed at the trash we were able to toss before the move. Things that were no longer useable, unneeded, or simply kept for the memory (when in reality the memory is in the mind not the item). Some of those undecided things came with us, but I’m finding that I’m more willing to let those “not sure” things end up in the trash more often than finding a spot for them. And that is… freeing is the only word that comes to mind.
My beloved plants can be spread throughout this house. My cherished books will find their way onto old and new bookcases. My fairy, and dragon, and large cat statues have their own place of importance to shine their beauty to be seen daily, not packed away in storage for someday. In many ways, we have less space – yet, it’s filling in with a design that is unique to us, and really, that is all that matters, isn’t it… that this is our choices, our design, our home that is the beauty of this experience for me.
I’m finding that along with the trash I’ve also left some negative thoughts and actions behind as well. That has surprised me, in a very good way. I’ve actually lost a bit of weight without even trying – so, “go me!”. 🙂
The one heartbreaking thing for me in all of this is that we had to rehome our sweet pup, Harley. How I miss that adorable mop. Yet, that decision was the right one for us, but more importantly for Harley. She’s now at home with three other dogs that she can “herd” to her heart’s content. She has a huge fenced-in yard to run free in – and two young girls to love her, play with her, and spoil her even more. I have the option of seeing her whenever I’d like… but I don’t think that would be fair to Harley. She’s adjusting to her new family quite well, I won’t confuse her by showing up and leaving without her again. I still cry at night, missing her, but it’s less as time goes on and I get updates on how she’s doing. Sometimes loving a pet means doing what is best for the pet not for the humans involved in their lives. And no matter what anyone else thinks, this was the right decision for us all.
Well. Dawn has broken and it’s time to unpack a few more boxes. Time to make new decisions, new schedules… and new memories.