I think the last few years have taken a toll on all of us. Yet, some of us (myself included) have long battled a war against ourselves. We believe the worst about ourselves, even when there is no evidence of truth in those beliefs.
After a day where I had been particularly down on myself, something snapped, a conversation was remembered, and finally, I had had enough of myself.
When the words of someone who loves you cannot reach your inner self it’s time to re-evaluate your priorities. And that is what I’m going to be doing for the rest of this year (and perhaps beyond).
Now the absolute truth is… we all have too much personal information out there in the world through the internet. So, I won’t be going into teeny, tiny details about my personal struggles. In general, yes. In detail, no. Yet what I can say is simply I have been a victim of verbal and mental abuse in relationships at two times in my life (guess I didn’t learn that lesson on what to look for fast enough). I know what it feels like to be told you’re worthless, you can’t do anything right, you are not “enough” for a relationship. I’ve been there I’ve got the tears to prove it. That’s the only detail I’m giving out – the base of my feelings of self-inadequacies is driven by those years of negativity in my life. And it continued to undercut the rest of my life… until today when I made a choice to seek something better for myself.
Don’t ever believe it’s too late for you – as long as you draw breath, there is time enough to take care of yourself, to love yourself.
So. For today – and maybe for this week, I’m setting one goal for myself. To do away with the automatic phrase “I can’t…” and fill in whatever blank comes after. I can. I have. I will again so that “I can’t” is just BS. Plain and simple. Yet. I also have to believe it and I’m not there just yet but working on it. So for now no more “I can’t” – I will, even if it scares me, I will.
That’s if for today. I’m off to putter with plants because that brings me joy… and we all need joy in our lives.
Take care of yourself – you are the only ‘you’ in existence, celebrate that unique person.
Life is all about change, isn’t it? I believe we all can say that the previous year (2020), and the continued more restrained chaos of 2021 certainly changed all of our lives in different ways.
For me, it’s been far, far too easy to just let despair, depression flow over me, and curling up in a tight, secure, bubble of a ball was a mental safety-net that I allowed myself. That might have helped in some ways – but did damage in other ways as well.
It’s time to step back into the world that I once found beautiful. It’s time for some very different changes – and that is what you’ll see reflected in this newer version of Fae Serena. I’ll still be sharing my love of fairy anything, my desire to conquer the making of fairy gardens, but I’m also spreading out a bit into something that is very important to me, especially at this time.
Self-Care ~ Self-Love ~ Self-Assurance
As I do some tending to myself ( as I should have done years ago ) I’ll be making that journey here at this website. Oh, those tiny, personal details will never make it into a post – but in general, in spirit, in perhaps helping someone else… those will all be here, easily seen. Negative thoughts will destroy a person – only relearning to change the negative to at best positive, at the least neutral, can change ultimately the spiral into constant negativity in one’s life. That is my goal for 2021. I invite you along on this journey…
… or you could just look for the succulent posts, or the fairy garden posts, or whatever else hits my fancy on this journey called life. 🙂
I have always loved cactus. They are majestic in their prickly way, and years ago I was living in a house with the right kind of light that mine flourished even bloomed. Unfortunately, life happened and I moved to an apartment with hardly any light so my cactus collection was eventually given away before they all died on me. *sigh*
A few months ago I decided to give succulents a try once again. Different location, a little better light — and I discovered grow lights! I’ve slowly been gathering up some beauties through a monthly subscription and a few sales along the way. I’ve been surfing through YouTube for “how-to” videos and found a gardener that I really enjoy watching as she creates beautiful succulent and sometimes cactus arrangements. I’m about to try my hand at this myself, so we’ll see how that turns out.
Now, my small collections aren’t as big or as colorful as this picture… but I am going to put them in rather close to each other to see how they look and if they thrive in that type of planting. Guess I’m going to have to learn the camera on my phone to show my own progress, right? *mutters* 🙂
Finally. President-Elect Jo Biden. Vice-President-Elect Kamala Harris.
I do not have words that would adequately express the absolute relief I feel at this moment.
Other emotions will soon come into play – but just such happiness and relief that we are safe once again is all my mind can see, my emotions can feel in this moment.
*deep sigh of satisfaction*
I voted for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris for President and Vice-President. I did. I’m proud of that vote. And I stand behind it no matter anyone or anything else.
I want my country back. I want the hatred, the anger, the ridiculous decisions behind me. I’m not a fool, I know bigotry, hate, disagreement will always exist – but I want the flames to stop being fanned.
Now. We. Wait. Not always patiently but we have to wait for every single vote to be counted. That is the American way… we count the vote and then (and only then) a winner in any election is declared.
You cannot “Claim” states in order to boost your own side, it’s not how this all works. *sigh*
This is the photo that really decided me on creating my own Succulent Fairy Garden in a pre-prepared pot. Click on that photo to go to the Instagram account Fairy Tale Gardens to see even more.
Stunning. And I’d like to recreate something similar.
If these types of projects fascinate you as they do me, then I’d suggest heading over to this article at Succulent City for lots of tips and information. I know I’m going to referencing this article as I create my own Fairy Garden creations.